Hopkins on Anglicans

Our text for today is "Healing help from a human hikoi of hope" ( Jim Hopkins : New Zealand Herald page A15 ( 2004 March 12 ) ). In this article, published shortly after Helen Clark's "sermon" in Christchurch Anglican Cathedral, Jim Hopkins pokes fun at some current preoccupations of the church. He aims at Anglicans, but which is probably fair enough, but it seems to me that much the same tendencies are widespread in the "mainstream" denominations. ( No, I'm not going to define "mainstream", but you know what I mean, more or less. ) I think he makes some good points, and perhaps a few others.

Jim Hopkins's article is below on the left. I have added some annotation on the right, mainly to point out issues which I think are of interest; do not blame Jim Hopkins for my bits, nor vice versa. Don't blame me for my bits, either - they have been added with more haste and less contemplation that I would have liked, because ( as always ) I'm running out of time. As their object is to induce discussion rather than provide enlightenment, perhaps it doesn't matter too much.

ASK ST ABBY

The Anglican agony aunt

Dear St Abby - As the Dean of a large ( and frequently empty ) cathedral that is actively involved in a dynamic spiritual programme of treaty education{1}, I seek your guidance. You will be aware that our cathedral will soon host a vitally important party political broadcast, and it's this crucial part of our ongoing evangelical mission{2} that's left me deeply troubled. The truth is, I'm sick with worry. I can't sleep, I can't think, I can't even remember the words of our modern Hymns and Hers. Instead, I pace the pews, tormented by the awful fear I may offend our maker - she who will tell us of the Promised Land. Help me, St Abby. What is the etiquette here ? How do I avoid possibly offensive patriarchal overtones, ie, references to Wise Men, Lords, etc, when our saviour comes among us ? What must I do to make her feel nurtured and welcome in the inclusive embrace of the modern Anglican church ? ... Yrs, Desperate Dean {1} : Yes, we should be concerned with The Treaty, but one sometimes feels that some other things have been forgotten. What happened to the "dynamic spiritual programmes" of evangelism ? I suppose there's always the Alpha course ...
{2} : Oh, that's where the evangelism went. Of course.
Dear Desperate Dean - Prayers would be my suggestion. Get rid of them. Don't have any. They've been scrapped at state banquets so they're certainly out of place in church. If you feel you must have some, ( for old time's sake ), I suggest you keep a pair of ear-plugs discreetly secreted beneath your surplice. Then, at an appropriate moment, you can give them to the Leader, thus avoiding any possible offence. If you saw the TV pics of last week's stirring sermon at the Christchurch Cathedral, you'll have noticed how deeply troubled and unhappy the PM looked - a bit like an undercover police-person testifying on oath.
Now this might have been because the communion wine wasn't up to her usual high standards, but I rather suspect it was the prayers. Leave them out and everything should be hunky-dory. As my sainted mother used to say, if you're going to sell your soul, sell all of it. I trust you will ... Abby
I don't much care about state banquets, or parliament, or North Shore City council meetings - they're secular organisations, and can make up their own minds ( should they have any ) about prayers.
I do care about churches. I have encountered suggestions that we should cut down the prayers in our services because it makes people uncomfortable. Someone seems to have missed the point somewhere.
( I recall a clerical gentleman being unwilling to take an evensong service some years ago, because some other group would be using the church later and if they came a bit early "they'd wonder what we were doing". )
Dear St Abby - Since we modern Anglicans seem so desperately keen to break down the barriers between church and state by selecting ( approved ) politicians to pop in and preach a little secular salvation, I wonder if we also have a duty to invite someone like Peter Dunne ... Yrs, Troubled Vicar
Dear Troubled Vicar - Peter who ? ... Abby
Dear St Abby - Peter Dunne. You know, the leader of United Future, the only Christian party in Parliament. On that basis alone, we should probably give him an opportunity to address our flock ( gay rams included ) ... Yrs, Troubled Vicar United Future no longer claim to be Christian. It's not politically advantageous. Would that worry them if they were really Christian ?
Dear Troubled Vicar - Good heavens, no. The modern Anglican never endorses Christianity{1}. It might upset those of other faiths and creeds, some of whom are quite angry about Western imperialism{2} already. It's something we never mention, just as we never express a view on{3} prostitution, gay marriage, mosques in schools, the censor's rating for The Passion of the Christ or anything else that might distract us from our ordained mission, which is to organise hikoi to Parliament to demand the Government do our job for us{4}. Remember, we can only ask people to be compassionate. We can only ask them to find charity in their hearts and spare change in their wallets. The State can force them to pay through the nose, thus contributing greatly to our clergy's sense of virtue and wellbeing. I refer you to our latest translation of the New Testament, which says : "Surrender unto Caesar, because all things are Caesar's."{5} Over to you, Troubled Vicar ... Abby {1} : Too true to be comfortable ? Why ?
{2} : There is obviously a relationship between Christianity and "western imperialism", but it's not nearly as simple as is often made out. Would the imperialism have been better without the Christianity ?
{3} : Don't we ? Some of us seem all too ready to tell other people what my view is, and are usually wrong.
{4} : Welfare is our job : Matthew 25.34-40 - "I was hungry, and you gave me meat" etc. It is true that we still do quite a lot of it. It is also true that there is a lot left to do.
{5} : What isn't Caesar's ? - particularly now that Caesar is - at least in principle - appointed by the people.

Dear St Abby - Well, if Peter Dunne's not acceptable, how about Don Brash ? - Yrs, Troubled Vicar
Dear Troubled Vicar - Are you mad ? His father was a Presbyterian. We must maintain some standards ... Abby I think we're getting a lot better on this one. It took a long time, though, and we still have a long way to go.
Dear St Abby - The well-known Cabinet minister ( and possible leader of a new political party ) John Tamihere has been predicting civil war if certain demonic persons don't shut up. I am deeply anguished by this and wonder what our view should be. Should we say of civil war, to paraphrase another, "Bring it on", or should we say, "Put it off' ? ... Yrs, Dog Collar
Dear Dog Collar - We modern Anglicans must take a principled but pragmatic stand on this. We should clearly state that we fervently support all oppressed peoples who pursue liberation through armed struggle, while respectfully asking the oppressed persons of Aotearoa if they would refrain from directing their civil warfare at nice people like us ... Abby Is it odd that lots of nice, kind Christians are eager to urge other people to violence and slaughter ? It is true that urging them to turn the other cheek might not be popular.
Dear St Abby - The vigorous debates in your column remind me of comments made some years ago by the Bishop of Sheffield. He challenged various church reforms, arguing that they "find their momentum not from Scripture but from the generally held views of everyone today ... and once this replaces Scripture and tradition as the authority for the church's doctrine, almost anything becomes possible". He seems to be saying that a religious group seeking to have real moral authority in society must offer more than an anaemic carbon-copy of fashionable thought As the font of modern Anglican wisdom, what's your opinion ? ... Yrs, Hemi te Hipkins ( Child of the Vicarage )
Dear Hemi - I don't know what this silly old Bishop's talking about. And neither would our congregation - if we had one ... Abby I know what he's talking about. I think he's right. And I think I might know why your congregation wouldn't understand.

Alan Creak,
2004 April.

ASK ST ABBY The Anglican agony aunt
Dear St Abby - As the Dean of a large ( and frequently empty ) cathedral that is actively involved in a dynamic spiritual programme of treaty education{1}, I seek your guidance. You will be aware that our cathedral will soon host a vitally important party political broadcast, and it's this crucial part of our ongoing evangelical mission{2} that's left me deeply troubled. The truth is, I'm sick with worry. I can't sleep, I can't think, I can't even remember the words of our modern Hymns and Hers. Instead, I pace the pews, tormented by the awful fear I may offend our maker - she who will tell us of the Promised Land. Help me, St Abby. What is the etiquette here ? How do I avoid possibly offensive patriarchal overtones, ie, references to Wise Men, Lords, etc, when our saviour comes among us ? What must I do to make her feel nurtured and welcome in the inclusive embrace of the modern Anglican church ? ... Yrs, Desperate Dean	{1} : Yes, we should be concerned with The Treaty, but one sometimes feels that some other things have been forgotten. What happened to the "dynamic spiritual programmes" of evangelism ? I suppose there's always the Alpha course ... {2} : Oh, that's where the evangelism went. Of course.
Dear Desperate Dean - Prayers would be my suggestion. Get rid of them. Don't have any. They've been scrapped at state banquets so they're certainly out of place in church. If you feel you must have some, ( for old time's sake ), I suggest you keep a pair of ear-plugs discreetly secreted beneath your surplice. Then, at an appropriate moment, you can give them to the Leader, thus avoiding any possible offence. If you saw the TV pics of last week's stirring sermon at the Christchurch Cathedral, you'll have noticed how deeply troubled and unhappy the PM looked - a bit like an undercover police-person testifying on oath. Now this might have been because the communion wine wasn't up to her usual high standards, but I rather suspect it was the prayers. Leave them out and everything should be hunky-dory. As my sainted mother used to say, if you're going to sell your soul, sell all of it. I trust you will ... Abby	I don't much care about state banquets, or parliament, or North Shore City council meetings - they're secular organisations, and can make up their own minds ( should they have any ) about prayers. I do care about churches. I have encountered suggestions that we should cut down the prayers in our services because it makes people uncomfortable. Someone seems to have missed the point somewhere. ( I recall a clerical gentleman being unwilling to take an evensong service some years ago, because some other group would be using the church later and if they came a bit early "they'd wonder what we were doing". )
Dear St Abby - Since we modern Anglicans seem so desperately keen to break down the barriers between church and state by selecting ( approved ) politicians to pop in and preach a little secular salvation, I wonder if we also have a duty to invite someone like Peter Dunne ... Yrs, Troubled Vicar
Dear Troubled Vicar - Peter who ? ... Abby
Dear St Abby - Peter Dunne. You know, the leader of United Future, the only Christian party in Parliament. On that basis alone, we should probably give him an opportunity to address our flock ( gay rams included ) ... Yrs, Troubled Vicar	United Future no longer claim to be Christian. It's not politically advantageous. Would that worry them if they were really Christian ?
Dear Troubled Vicar - Good heavens, no. The modern Anglican never endorses Christianity{1}. It might upset those of other faiths and creeds, some of whom are quite angry about Western imperialism{2} already. It's something we never mention, just as we never express a view on{3} prostitution, gay marriage, mosques in schools, the censor's rating for The Passion of the Christ or anything else that might distract us from our ordained mission, which is to organise hikoi to Parliament to demand the Government do our job for us{4}. Remember, we can only ask people to be compassionate. We can only ask them to find charity in their hearts and spare change in their wallets. The State can force them to pay through the nose, thus contributing greatly to our clergy's sense of virtue and wellbeing. I refer you to our latest translation of the New Testament, which says : "Surrender unto Caesar, because all things are Caesar's."{5} Over to you, Troubled Vicar ... Abby	{1} : Too true to be comfortable ? Why ? {2} : There is obviously a relationship between Christianity and "western imperialism", but it's not nearly as simple as is often made out. Would the imperialism have been better without the Christianity ? {3} : Don't we ? Some of us seem all too ready to tell other people what my view is, and are usually wrong. {4} : Welfare is our job : Matthew 25.34-40 - "I was hungry, and you gave me meat" etc. It is true that we still do quite a lot of it. It is also true that there is a lot left to do. {5} : What isn't Caesar's ? - particularly now that Caesar is - at least in principle - appointed by the people.
Dear St Abby - Well, if Peter Dunne's not acceptable, how about Don Brash ? - Yrs, Troubled Vicar
Dear Troubled Vicar - Are you mad ? His father was a Presbyterian. We must maintain some standards ... Abby	I think we're getting a lot better on this one. It took a long time, though, and we still have a long way to go.
Dear St Abby - The well-known Cabinet minister ( and possible leader of a new political party ) John Tamihere has been predicting civil war if certain demonic persons don't shut up. I am deeply anguished by this and wonder what our view should be. Should we say of civil war, to paraphrase another, "Bring it on", or should we say, "Put it off' ? ... Yrs, Dog Collar
Dear Dog Collar - We modern Anglicans must take a principled but pragmatic stand on this. We should clearly state that we fervently support all oppressed peoples who pursue liberation through armed struggle, while respectfully asking the oppressed persons of Aotearoa if they would refrain from directing their civil warfare at nice people like us ... Abby	Is it odd that lots of nice, kind Christians are eager to urge other people to violence and slaughter ? It is true that urging them to turn the other cheek might not be popular.
Dear St Abby - The vigorous debates in your column remind me of comments made some years ago by the Bishop of Sheffield. He challenged various church reforms, arguing that they "find their momentum not from Scripture but from the generally held views of everyone today ... and once this replaces Scripture and tradition as the authority for the church's doctrine, almost anything becomes possible". He seems to be saying that a religious group seeking to have real moral authority in society must offer more than an anaemic carbon-copy of fashionable thought As the font of modern Anglican wisdom, what's your opinion ? ... Yrs, Hemi te Hipkins ( Child of the Vicarage )
Dear Hemi - I don't know what this silly old Bishop's talking about. And neither would our congregation - if we had one ... Abby	I know what he's talking about. I think he's right. And I think I might know why your congregation wouldn't understand.